March 1, 2014

Hello Friends and Family,

This is the first update I’m writing with a baby in my lap instead of in my belly ☺ He has hiccups and is very interested in what I’m doing right now. The last two months have been a whirlwind as we have stepped into parenthood.

Justice Matthew Manzari was born on January 6 and weighed 7 lb. 2 oz. He is completely healthy and we feel beyond blessed for that! I was in labor for a little over 27 hours, but delivery was smooth with no complications. It was so strange to be back at the same hospital plaza where Matt had been, but we were there for happy reasons this time ☺ Matt and I were overwhelmed at his birth. It brought Matt to tears, as he felt that he had made it to a huge goal in his recovery: Seeing the birth of his son. He had looked forward to it when he was in the hospital and had prepared for it in physical therapy. His therapists would make “fake” babies out of weights and towels to help Matt gain the muscle to hold his son, and now, we have made it! Matt is strong enough to hold Justice and that is priceless.

Being a new mom has been exhausting, amazing, strange, painful, enlightening, special, and fun! I couldn’t believe when they laid him on my chest after he was born that he had been with me through the whole journey. This little buddy had been feeling all my pain, sorrow, joy and triumph through Matt’s accident… The two of us had been through a lot together and now I was meeting him for the first time. Not only was I overwhelmed by meeting him, but I was so happy to have Matt at my side through it all. It was a moment I will never forget.

Our transition home was not without complication. The day after we came home with Justice, Matt had to be rushed into an emergency root canal to correct a severe abscess in his tooth. He had a bad reaction to the laughing gas during the procedure, which, in combination with his severe nerve pain, left him out of commission for a few days. I got sick a few days after that and it seemed like we were spinning! We made it through that rough patch and it has been getting better.

Matt still suffers more than he lets on to anyone. His recovery is very difficult and painful in ways most of us could not imagine. His nerve pain plagues him, and even with medication, it can be too much to bear. He pushes through and has been diligent in his physical therapy, continuing to gain mobility in his arms and neck. His limp wrist is coming back more as well, and we are hopeful for a full regeneration of the radial nerve in order to use his left hand again. The scar tissue has grown so strong on his right ring finger that it has pulled the tip out of the socket, and causes consistent pain that can’t be fixed without corrective surgery. The more the scar tissue forms, the harder he has to stretch out his neck, which causes gaping holes that bleed quite a bit. When he can manage to fall asleep with the insomnia, he still wakes up with sharp pains and does not get much rest at all. He lives exhausted.

I am amazed at his ability to keep a good attitude. The suffering he endured in the hospital was a test in every way, but to have many constant pains throughout your day and no relief, I can imagine it grinds you down and could tempt you to feel sorry for yourself. Thankfully, Matt continues to push through it with hope and an attitude of thankfulness for his life. If people were to ask me to describe my husband and tell them what he is like, I could sum it up by telling them what he is not: My husband is not a “fair weather” Christian. He continues to praise Christ and pursue Him even in daily struggles. All in all, he is a strong man who trusts God with his whole life.

We just passed the 7-year anniversary of our first date on Feb. 21. As I reflect back to that day, I could never have known where life would lead the two of us. I did not predict such trials, but I could see Matt’s love for God and I knew if we did hit trials, he would not waver in that. This last 8 months has shown the fruits of why I fell in love with him on that first date.

People have continued to bless us in this time and have given us meals, done work at our house, blessed us with baby gifts, and prayed for our needs. We have seen the caring side of humanity and it is beautiful. It still humbles us as we receive the goodness that people send our way. We feel unworthy of all of your love and generosity and we cannot say thank you enough. We look forward to blessing others in the ways that we have felt blessed.

Love,
Bobbye Jean

December 31, 2014

Hi to all of our family, friends, and sweet strangers,

Matt has been healing extremely well in this last month! His wounds on his ears and head are closed up almost completely! His left ear is the last one with a small amount of healing left to do, but he will not need surgery to any of those wounds! We were fully expecting to have additional surgeries on his sternum and ears, but thankfully, they have closed up with time, patience, and continuous dressing changes. He has been wearing compression garments on his grafts that have helped his scars to become more flattened and the color is continuously getting closer to his natural pigment. He has been diligent with his stretches and exercises from occupational therapy, even though it is extremely painful for him. Because of his diligence, he has ripped open the skin on his neck and in his armpit, where the scar tissue is especially taught. Though painful, it is important to have these skin breaks. When they heal, it will not be as tight as it was before, accomplishing the mobility goals of his therapy. He also challenges himself to use his weaker arm and hand for daily tasks saying, “I have to be able to use this arm because we have a little guy on the way.”

His left wrist is making a miraculous recovery… They have been telling us that the nerve may regenerate, but it will take a very long time to tell. However, within the last few weeks, he has had the ability to move his wrist up and down in slight motions for a few seconds, assuring the therapists that his nerve is in fact regenerating! Many people have been praying for this to happen and we are incredibly grateful!

The electrocution caused Matt to get cataracts in his eyes. Usually, cataracts are only found in people over the age of 40, so they were surprised to find them in his eyes. After Matt’s release from the hospital, his vision started to decline rapidly and in just a few months, his cataracts became disabling for him. We just finished getting his eye surgeries 2 weeks ago and he is enjoying being able to see again!

Sleeping at night is still a struggle and he is exhausted during the daytime. We have been warned that this is a common struggle for electrocution victims. He will have a few days where he has re-set his sleeping schedule and he feels better, but his nerve pain will come in strong and mess it all up again. The doctors said it just takes time for this to all balance out. At lease he will be willing to make late night diaper changes, as he is awake anyway wink emoticon On our most recent visits to his burn doctors they were thrilled with his progress and blown away by the speed of his recovery. Everything is moving in the right direction and we happily passed the six-month mark of the accident on Christmas day. The further we get from the accident date, the happier we are.

Our son is due on January 12, but our bags are packed as they say he can come any day now! It is very surreal to think he will be here so soon. Matt is beyond excited and keeps asking why I haven’t had him yet ☺

As is to be expected, there have been some difficult times throughout this process. It is hard to be in a patient/caretaker relationship every day and not have moments of frustration. Overall, I feel that Matt and I have embraced our time together the last few months and grown closer in ways most couples will never experience. However, this does not mean the time has been without the testing of patience, attitude, and selflessness. We look forward to our relationship continually shifting back towards where we were before the trauma, and also seeing our relationship grow through parenthood. This New Year brings much hope and I have never been so happy to say goodbye to a previous year. God has blessed us incredibly in 2014 through the hardship, but I can’t wait to see what He has in store for 2015! Happy New Year Ya’ll!

November 6, 2014

Hi Loved Ones,

You have all gathered around us and made our transition into this new life as blessed as it could be under the circumstances. We have felt God’s love in the most touching ways through all your support. Constantly we witness the kindness of our close friends and family, as well as the kindness of distant acquaintances and complete strangers. I simply wish there was a way to put our gratitude in adequate words.

We have been home for a month and a half and have slowly gotten a routine down of dressing changes and therapy. He has been doing well in therapy and diligently working on all the exercises they give him to stretch out his scar tissue, though it hurts him with a pain he can’t describe. His wounds are closing up daily and even though some of them break back open from time to time, his skin grafts are doing well overall. His ears and sternum are getting weekly treatments of Silver Nitrate, which burns the hypergranulation down and helps the skin to heal in a proper manner. We have seen huge results from this treatment and they are now talking of not even needing to do grafting! Because of his dread for surgery, he endures the pain of the Silver Nitrate treatments to his ears. This pain leaves him shaking and screaming, but he pushes through! His head exit wound has also been healing rapidly. The open area is now less than half the size of what it used to be! His left wrist is still limp from the nerve damage, but after some testing, it seems that his nerve might be regenerating! We have a long way to go to see how much it will regenerate, but there seems to be hope from his therapists.

The biggest struggle is the consistency of pain. Matt has an incredible determination to get through where I think most of us, including myself, would just find it too difficult. He puts on a good front when he is with people and he does not walk around complaining, but his reality is harsh. The doctors have told us that his nerve regeneration causes pain that is indescribable. This pain is not only intense because of the amount of nerves growing back, but also a strange pain that makes your body feel “weird.” This is the cause of his intense insomnia. There are good days and bad days. Some days he cannot get out of bed, whereas other days he is running around like the old Matt. He has weaned himself off of his medicines enough for his doctor to approve him to drive. This step was a huge one for Matt to feel independent and normal again. With that being said, his lower levels of pain medicine make the bad days that much worse for him, and we are continually working to find the balance that he needs at this time.

I am 30 weeks and my pregnancy is continuing to go well! The baby seems to be in great health and I have not been dealing with any hard pregnancy symptoms on my end. I’m very grateful. I know we will have an active one on our hands because he is moving ALL THE TIME! I still cannot wrap my mind around the fact that a little person will be entering our lives in 10 weeks.
I must say, Matt is one of the strongest men in the world. Yes, I am biased, but I also see his daily struggles and can truly appreciate how strong he is. He is strong enough to push towards God in the midst of an exhausting physical recovery. He continually seeks after God’s will for this new version of life and he humbly accepts the help that he needs. I see that it is hard for him to be incapable of certain daily tasks, or the inability to move furniture in the baby’s room etc. This is not the way he pictured life. He wants nothing more than to be the strong young man he was at the beginning of this year, but he knows that God is using his new body for an even better purpose.

We are constantly stopped and asked what happened. People see his scars and are riddled with concern and curiosity. These conversations have given us opportunities to hear other people’s stories and pray together in the middle of parking lots, grocery stores, and restaurants. You never know what people are going through or have gone through, but Matt’s struggle is worn on his arms. The visibility of his hurt allows people to feel safe sharing their hidden hurt, and Matt is doing ministry without even trying to. God amazes me with His ability to use bad things for good.

Your continued prayers are appreciated, as the struggle does not end when one gets out of the hospital. The healing process is a rollercoaster and your prayers have blessed us through it! We love you all! Thank you!

September 28, 2014

Hello All,
We are home! It has been 2 weeks since Matt was discharged from inpatient rehabilitation and it has been a whirlwind. We have been navigating different doctor appointments, figuring out where to begin Matt’s occupational and physical therapy, and setting up systems for all his medical supplies to be able to stay healthy at home. It is amazing to be home at the end of the day when we have completed all his medical tasks. We also just celebrated Matt’s birthday and no one could believe what a huge blessing this particular birthday was!

Matt is healing well and is a continuous miracle! The hyper-granulation is shrinking slowly and there are fewer open spots on his body. His sternum tissue is still healing over some parts of the bone and we are waiting for a few more weeks to see what they would like to do about grafting over it. Unfortunately, his ear grafts from his last surgery did not take. His ears remain a problem and we are waiting to find out what the physicians would like to do as we move forward. His forehead exit wound is healing slowly and moving in the right direction. His eye doctor said that the accident has given him cataracts and he will need corrective surgery in the next year. His scar tissue continues to pull inward and contract, making us work against it at every minute. Matt can move his right arm with decent motion, but after using it for a few minutes, he can no longer put it straight. His left arm can move with less motion and the scar bands are even stronger in that arm. His shoulders are both limited by the scar tissue in his armpits and chest and cause him to slouch forward constantly. His neck is the hardest for him to straighten and if he is not actively stretching it, he cannot look upward. His left wrist still has no lift in it and he has to wear a brace in order to use that hand. The constant stretching he must do to avoid his upper body freezing in one position causes extreme pain. He also is in constant nerve pain, and even with the medication, everything is sensitive and painful. His temperature regulation is altered in his body, which is very common in burn injuries, especially electrical burns. He can go from freezing one second to burning up the next. They do not have any kind of estimation of when or if this will dissipate. There have been moments of frustration or fear for him in regards to his weaknesses. He cannot do certain activities that seem like they should be easy, and it can be difficult to constantly need help. He still cannot get himself off of the ground if he were to sit down or if he were to fall and it is a hard adjustment for him to face. He handles it all well and doesn’t let his frustration bring him down on a consistent basis, but there are moments that he has sadness over his new reality. It breaks my heart to see him struggle in these moments.

We got a puppy to help Matt through his recovery. Her name is Tala and she is a huge blessing. Matt has so much pain in the mornings etc. and he has a hard time getting motivated to get up. I’ll put Tala on the bed and puppy kisses make it easier to wake up! She has been a great companion for him and it is good therapy for him to focus on playing with her, forcing him to use his arms and move around.

Thankfully, baby’s health has been going well and I have hit the 24 week benchmark! I am grateful that the baby has not hindered me from being Matt’s caretaker. I still cannot believe we are out of the hospital and it will hit me at different moments. I will be driving Matt somewhere near the hospital and think to myself, “Matt is in the car with me and not stuck in that building anymore.” Let’s just say I get emotional a lot these days. In order to avoid crying at every moment I jokingly say “Whatever” very fervently, as if I don’t care. It doesn’t really work, but at least I chuckle a little as I cry

This journey is continually teaching me how to navigate life. I contemplated as I looked at my “What to Expect When You Are Expecting” book, that this book could not have helped me expect what happened during my pregnancy. Where is the section about your husband almost dying while you have a little one growing inside you? I now realize that none of us can expect what is going to happen in our lives. This is mixed with the juxtaposition that we CAN always expect God to be good and evil to be bad. I am trying to look at life with great expectation of God, but no expectations of what His goodness will look like. This is because I don’t know what the circumstances of our life will look like and how His goodness will be displayed in those specifics.

You all have continued to reach out and bless us. We are still blown away by the daily love and support from those we know, and even complete strangers. God’s network is so far reaching and humbles us to our core. Thank you for helping us through this one day at a time.

Love,
Bobbye Jean Manzari

September 10, 2014

Today is day 78 and it is a new chapter… We have moved from the Trauma Step Down unit to the Inpatient Physical Therapy!  This is a huge step forward for Matt and when we reflect on the doctor’s original timeframes for this step, we see how good our God is.  He is not bound by doctor timelines J  At this new facility, they will focus on giving Matt the most use of his arms and neck possible.  They will also help teach him alternative ways of using the left wrist that he cannot lift.  He is left-handed, so the loss of use in that hand has forced him to relearn everything right handed, but he is making it work!

Emotions were hard to hold back as he got to leave the trauma unit yesterday.  There is a bell that patients ring when they are leaving, and we longingly looked forward to the day that it was Matt’s turn to ring it loudly.  Yesterday was his day and it was so symbolic of the miracle that he is.  All the nurses gathered around and cheered and cried with us.  There was a part of me that couldn’t believe we were blessed enough to experience this moment.  When we first arrived at the hospital, I was told so many horrible scenarios of what would happen:  There will be significant brain damage, his heart will be compromised, his kidneys will shut down from the toxins of the dead tissue, he might lose his arms, he will not be out in time for the delivery of our baby, and the list went on.  Somebody pinch me because the outcome feels like a dream come true!

His pain has been decreasing with his walking and he is more mobile now.  Unfortunately, his sternum, ears and head remain a constant source of pain, as they all have open wounds and require dressing changes.  He does still have pain in his arms, shoulders, and neck due to the scar tissue bands that he must stretch to move.  Also, they still find leftover staples and stitches daily.  We are still waiting to hear when surgery to skin graft over his sternum will be.  Until we know, he is going to be working hard at rehabilitation.

As we look at the reality of going home, we are beyond grateful for the support that we have had.  Going home is a big transition and it can be intimidating taking those next steps not knowing what the new “normal” looks like.  The prayers, help, and financial support from everyone we know, as well as the people we don’t know, help us to see hope and see God’s hand at work.  Thank you for the blessings.  Matt and I cannot wait to be able to bless others in hard times as we have been blessed.  We love you all!

September 3, 2014

Today is day 70 in the hospital and we are 4 days post-op from surgery #10. It has been a rough few days. On Friday, Matt had surgery to his ears and to correct the hypergranulation on his body. Hypergranulation happens when the body is trying to heal a wound and it goes into “hyperdrive” and the cells in an area will overproduce and create big bumps that cause slower healing and bad scarring. This surgery went well, but Matt’s pain was unbearable afterwards. They had to scrape away very sensitive tissue in his ears in order to place the dermis layer (Made from pig skin) overtop. This layer will help the healing process, but the removal they had to do before placing it was excruciatingly painful. They also stapled the dressings over his ears and the staples pulled every time he tried to move his head or chew, causing severe migraines. The ears were secondary compared to the pain he felt in his legs, where they had burned away the hypergranulation. The dressings would stick to the new wounds and when it came time to change them, there was not enough pain medicine to stop Matt’s weeping and screaming. It was horrible. Thankfully, they have now changed some of the types of dressings on his legs and it has helped them not to stick and cause so much pain. Since that change, there has been improvement in his ability to walk, as the dressings are not sticking and pulling on his wounds when he does so.

Another struggle after surgery was the hard cast they put on his right arm. The scar tissue bands in his arms are preventing full extension and it can become a permanent impairment if left on its own. They decided to straighten his arm as much as possible under anesthesia and put a hard cast on it for a few days to stretch out the bands. This cast made his right arm useless, and his left arm is unable to do very much at all right now. He felt trapped and helpless again, as we had to resume scratching any itches on his nose, feeding him, brushing his teeth etc. The pain and helplessness, along with being worn down from months in the hospital, brought his spirits low for a few days. Now this is all starting to improve and we are hoping the worst is behind him. God has blessed us that these are the only issues we are dealing with in light of what the outcomes should have been.

There was a scare that his Integra over his sternum was not going to take, due to a small infection. They are still monitoring this, but are hopeful as it is responding to antibiotic treatment. There is discussion of moving Matt to the inpatient physical therapy center soon and having him come back in a few weeks to have his skin grafting done over his sternum. This will be a huge step towards going home and we are eager to make that transition.

The baby has been kicking like crazy! Matt even got to be a part of an ultrasound thanks to thoughtful friends of ours ☺ They brought an ultrasound machine from work and set it up in the room so Matt could see our baby boy moving around. It was very special for him!

We are still blown away by the outreach from people far and wide. You all do not realize how much your encouragement helps Matt and I get through the sad days. Thank you for taking the time to hold us up and provide hope.

August 24, 2014

We are two days post op from Matt’s sternum surgery on Friday and blessings continue! Matt was riddled with anxiety about this surgery and the possibilities of what they were going to do. They were preparing to scrape most of his bone away, or even remove it entirely, then add a flap. The flap was yet another piece of deep tissue they were going to have to remove from Matt’s leg and reconnect all the blood vessels to the new location over his sternum. They were preparing for a long 5-6 hour surgery… Matt was out in an hour and a half! The doctors came out smiling and said that the bone had healed itself almost completely and all the damage was superficial. They began to scrape the black away and right under the surface was living bone. This great result meant that they did not have to do a flap, but instead, they put a very small layer of Integra on the bone. The Integra (The same synthetic dermis they put on his chest and arms) will heal over the bone so they can do a small skin graft over it in a few weeks. We were overjoyed that there was no more removal from Matt’s legs and the bone was healthy! The doctors were blown away and couldn’t believe the healing that had taken place… Once again prayers have been answered! It was the best news for Matt to wake up to after all his concern! They are also planning on doing surgery to the burns on his ears when they graft over his sternum in a few weeks. 

August 15, 2014

We are 11 days post-op for Matt’s skin grafts and things are going well! The doctors say that his skin grafts are taking 100% at this point! It has been told to us that this kind of result is mind-blowing and not normal… We know that God is at work here and prayers are being answered. With the success of his skin grafts, there has also been much pain involved. His donor sites, where they harvest the skin for the grafts, have caused him pain beyond comprehension. They scraped all the skin from the circumference of his thighs, as well as the skin on one calf. This top layer that they scrape off is just deep enough to expose the nerve endings and cause severe nerve pain. The location of the donor sites has been difficult because no matter how he lays/sits, he is pushing on the raw wounds and aggravating the nerves. Where he was walking around before surgery, he can now barely move his legs without weeping in pain. It has been a very tough process, but the important thing is he is healing and he won’t have to endure another major graft of this kind. Praise God! The next step is the surgery next Friday to repair, or possibly replace, his sternum. The electricity has charred some of his bone and they are working on a plan of care to try and save parts of the bone, but if that is not possible, they will have to replace it with metal. After recovering from that surgery, they are hoping to move him to a rehab facility to help him regain the use of his hands, arms, and neck. There is still no timeframe for us to count on, but Matt has been healing quicker than they originally expected, and we are hoping to keep up the trend.

The baby has been moving around and I am beginning to show a slight bump! We have been blessed by so many with fun baby presents that help us to look towards the joy in the future. Matt has been using presents as “occupational therapy” and opening them as much as he can with his limited hand mobility. The baby clothes in his hands make it real to him and he loves it… We both do!

I have been amazed at Matt during this particularly painful part of the process. The nerve pain overtakes his body to the point of tears and violent shaking. Even in the midst of this, he has found a way to be caring to others and never losing his temper in frustration. I hear other patients trying to punch the nurses and yelling at them with much lesser injuries than Matt is experiencing, yet he remains kind in the worst moments. Nothing about this process has been easy and Matt’s true colors are golden. For me, the struggle of seeing my husband in this level of pain has given me times of brokenness. Nothing could have prepared me for witnessing him in such suffering, and there are moments I simply don’t want to believe it is real. Through it all, I couldn’t be more grateful for the blessings that God continues to pour out. These blessings are not only in Matt’s healing, but also in the people surrounding us through prayer, support, and love. Thank you doesn’t seem like enough, but I say it anyways… THANK YOU!

August 4, 2014

Your prayers continue to be answered as doctors explain they have rarely experienced such good results from an Integra surgery. With the positive results in the past few weeks of the healing of his Integra layer, Matt was able to have his first major skin graft surgery today. All went well and the doctors are optimistic for good reception of the skin transfers. They were able to cover almost all of his wounds with skin from his thighs and one calf. This is a huge step towards healing and we are grateful this part of the process has begun! He will be restricted in movement for the next week and will be in braces that will hold his arms in a safe position. We will know in about a week how much of his grafts were accepted, but we are praying all of it does!

July 15, 2014

Dear Friends, Family, and Kind Strangers,

Matt had his 7th surgery yesterday and it was a step in the right direction. They applied a layer of material called Integra to his arms, chest, and stomach that will be the foundation for skin grafts to adhere to in the future. Most of his muscle was removed and they cannot graft straight over bones. We are grateful the removal process is diminishing and we are stepping into the rebuilding process. The Integra will require a month of healing and adhering before they can begin to look into skin grafting. They cannot give us a time estimation for completion. The pain Matt is experiencing brings us all to our knees, wishing there was a way to minimize it. Even through the pain that has been described to us as one of the worst things a human can endure, he continually prays with his medical staff before each dressing change and thanks God for his blessings. Needless to say, there are not very many dry eyes when he does so. He is a true example of faith in the storm and God is exemplified in him, even in his lowest moments. Every medical person we have encountered explains that Matt is a walking miracle to be even at this point… and we know it is true. God has heard the prayers you all have lifted and is working in a mighty way. We ask for your continued prayers as we trek through this journey. Specifically, if you could lift up in prayer some of the following things: Peace that surpasses all understanding for Matt, relief to his pain, healing to his bones that will need replacement without God’s hand, health for our baby as we push through emotional struggles, and a resistance of the attacks that are all around us during our weak moments. Our hearts are overwhelmed with gratitude for the selfless ways in which you all are helping us to survive, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We are humbled and cry tears of joy. We see God working in each person He brings our way and we see answers to prayer. God is so BIG and yet so concerned for the little things… He blows us away. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts and we love you all.